Starting a College Application Essay - A Short Example
I looked on as my shivering hand reached for the canister of BBs. The next second, I heard two shots followed by a cry. I opened my eyes just enough to see two village men carrying my brother away from the warning sign. I turned around, hurled my BB gun into the nearby Kyung Creek and ran home as fast as I could. I had never been more uncomfortable. I forced myself to learn to be vulnerable by asking questions even if I was terrified of being wrong. My proficiency in using data evidence could not teach me how to communicate with young children at church, nor could my test scores show me how to be more open to criticism. The key to all of these skills, I was to discover, happened to be learning from those around me. Turns out, I couldnt do everything by myself. When you want to express a contradictory opinion or perspective, write it in a new and separate paragraph. Do not discuss opposing ideas in the same paragraph; it will only minimize your essays effectiveness. Begin your essay with an unexpected statement to pique the readers curiosity and compel them to carefully read your essay. A mysterious introduction disarms the readers expectations and introduces questions that can only be answered by reading more.
Writing essay for college applications - The heavy scuba gear jerks me under the icy water, and exhilaration washes over me. Lost in the meditative rolling effect of the tide and the hum of the vast ocean, I feel present. I dive deeper to inspect a vibrant community of creatures, and we float together, carefree and synchronized. My fascination with marine life led me to volunteer as an exhibit interpreter for the Aquarium of the Pacific, where I share my love for the ocean. Most of my time is spent rescuing animals from small children and, in turn, keeping small children from drowning in the tanks. Ill never forget the time when a visiting family and I were so involved in discussing ocean conservation that, before I knew it, an hour had passed. Finding this mutual connection over the love of marine life and the desire to conserve the ocean environment keeps me returning each summer.
Therefore, they end up ruining their applications using incorrect writing styles, unclear syntax, and wrong punctuations. It gives a bad impression to the admission officers. They consider you either someone who ignores the instructions or someone who is unable to understand and follow them. In the eighth grade, I became fascinated with Spanish and aware of its similarities with English through cognates. Baseball in Spanish, for example, is béisbol, which looks different but sounds nearly the same. This was incredible to me as it made speech and comprehension more fluid, and even today I find that cognates come to the rescue when I forget how to say something in Spanish. I attended the SPK Program, a five-week enrichment program with New Jerseys best and brightest students. I lived on a college campus with 200 students and studied a topic. I selected Physical Science. On the first day of class, our teacher set a box on the table and poured water into the top, and nothing came out. Then, he poured more water in, and everything slowly came out. We were told to figure out what had happened with no phones or textbooks, just our brains. We worked together to discover in the box was a siphon, similar to what is used to pump gas. We spent the next weeks building solar ovens, studying the dynamic of paper planes, diving into the content of the speed of light and space vacuums, among other things.
I am a much stronger, healthier, and more resilient person than I was two years ago. While it hasnt been easy, I am glad to be where I am today. My frantic actions heightened my senses, mobilized my spirit. Cupping the bird, I ran outside, hoping the cool air outdoors would suture every wound, cause the bird to miraculously fly away. Yet there lay the bird in my hands, still gasping, still dying. Bird, human, human, bird. What was the difference? Both were the same. Mortal. If youre applying to multiple schools, you will have to juggle writing several essays for each one. We recommend using an essay tracker spreadsheet to help you visualize and organize the following: One day, my mom brought home fresh cabbages and red pepper sauce. She brought out the old silver bowl and poured out the cabbages, smothering them with garlic and salt and pepper. The familiar tangy smell tingled my nose. Gingerly, my grandma stood up from the couch in the living room, and as if lured by the smell, sat by the silver bowl and dug her hands into the spiced cabbages. As her bony hands shredded the green lips, a look of determination grew on her face. Though her withered hands no longer displayed the swiftness and precision they once did, her face showed the aged rigor of a professional.
We were taught how to think. More importantly, we were taught how to think together. Learning is not memorization or a competition. Learning is working together to solve the problems around us and better our community. To me, learning is the means to a better future, and thats exciting. Choosing a good topic is an essential step towards writing an effective essay. If you are already given an essay topic, you can skip this step. But, if you are required to select a prompt for your essay, you need to do some brainstorming. At that time, I felt uncertain about who I was because I was different online than I was at home or even at school where I was editor of my high school literary journal. It took me a while to understand that I was not the girl who hid in the corner making herself small; I was the one who sought to connect with others who were dealing with the same challenges at home, thinking that maybe in our isolation we could come together. I was able to make enough from my blog to pay some bills in the house and give my mom the courage to kick my stepfather out. When he exited our home, I felt a wind go through it, the house exhaling a giant sigh of relief.
Some say they are a "glimpse into your soul. " Im starting with whats impacted me most of my life, whats still in front of me, being Transgender in the school system. For my senior project, I am using my story and experience as a young Transgender man to inform local schools, specifically the staff, about the dos and donts of dealing with a Transgender student. I am determined to make sure no one feels as alone as I did. I want to be able to reach people, and use motivational speaking as the platform. Here is a secret that no one in my family knows: I shot my brother when I was six. Luckily, it was a BB gun. But to this day, my older brother Jonathan does not know who shot him. And I have finally promised myself to confess this eleven year old secret to him after I write this essay. Even though we eat Luchi Monsho on a monthly basis now, I know my family will never be the way it was. My mom and I wont become a Food Network mother-son duo. I cant fix all the mistakes. But I can use them to improve the present. The theme for relay for life is a hope for a cure. Through this experience as a leader, I have come to realize, as a community, we hope together, we dream together, we work together, and we succeed together.
The Martinez family did almost everything together. We made pizza together, watched Shrek on their cozy couch together, and went fishing on Sunday together. On rainy days, Michael, Jen and I would sit on the porch and listen to the rain, talking about our dreams and thoughts. Within two months I was calling them mom and dad. Last summer, I returned to Xiamen, China, and taught my father how to drink coffee. Now, a Chemex and teapot are both on the end table. Instead of simply listening, I shared my experiences as a club president, a community leader, and a volunteer. I showed him my business plan and prototypes. My father raised his cup of coffee and made a toast to me, Good girl! I am so proud of you. Then, he patted my head as before. Together, we emptied our cups while the smell of coffee lingered. Leaving home in the beginning of my adolescence, I was sent out on a path of my own. While for some, high school is the best time of their lives, for me, high school has represented some of the best and, hopefully, worst times. Even with the struggles Ive faced with my family, I am grateful for this path. It has brought me to a place that I only thought was fictional. In this new place I feel like a real person, with real emotions. This place is somewhere where I can express myself freely and be who I want to be.
For the first time in years, the smell of garlic filled the air and the rattling of the silver bowl resonated throughout the house. My mom opened Kanishkas Gastropub in 2013. I was ecstatic. We would become the first Mother-Son Indian duo on Food Network peeling potatoes, skinning chicken, and grinding spices, sharing our Bengali recipes with the world. He also goes one step further. He answers the So what? question once more in the final paragraph. (Q: So what am I going to do with all these lessons? A: Im going to use them to adapt to my next family--in college. ) Cancer, as powerful and invincible as it may seem, is a mere fraction of a persons life. Its easy to forget when ones mind and body are so weak and vulnerable. I want to be there as an oncologist to remind them to take a walk once in a while, to remember that theres so much more to life than a disease. While I physically treat their cancer, I want to lend patients emotional support and mental strength to escape the interruption and continue living. Through my work, I can accept the shovel without burying my grandmothers memory. While student grades and test scores are clearly top factors in admissions office decisions, application essays often play a pivotal role. Like nothing else, essays give admissions readers a real sense for who you are as a person and student.
I started to make new friends with more people at my school and was surprised to find out that 90 of their parents were divorced. Because we faced similar issues, we were able to support one and other, share tactics, and give advice. One of my friends, John, gave me advice on how to help my mother emotionally by showing her love, something I hadnt been able to do before. My friends gave me a family and a home, when my own family was overwhelmed and my home was gone. TIP: And thats one more way to write your essay. Identify your single greatest strength (in this case, it was his ability to adapt to whatever life gave him). Ask: how did I learn this? How can I SHOW that Im good at this? The single most important part of your essay preparation may be simply making sure you truly understand the question or essay prompt. When you're finished writing, you need to make sure that your essay still adheres to the prompt. My second family was the Martinez family, who were friends of the Watkinss. The host dad Michael was a high school English teacher and the host mom Jennifer (who had me call her Jen) taught elementary school. She had recently delivered a baby, so she was still in the hospital when I moved into their house.
This is the phenomenon of interdependency, the interconnectedness of life, the pivotal reason for human existence. I have continued this momentum by starting a Sonora High School chapter of American Cancer Society Youth, a club dedicated to youth involvement and several aspects of the American Cancer Society, including the recent Arizona Proposition 45. Are you tired of seeing an iPhone everywhere? Samsung glitchy? Its time for a change. I present to you, the iTaylor. I am the iTaylor. On the outside, I look like any smart phone, but when you open my settings and explore my abilities, you will find I have many unique features. My mom always wanted to change the world, to fix the broken parts of society. She didnt get to. Now that Im in a good place, mentally and physically, Im going to make that impact. Not just for her, but for me, and all the people who need a support branch as strong as the one my mom gave me. Beside me, the receptionists fingers hover over the radio in search of a new station, eventually settling on one. I hear LeAnn Rimes singing Amazing Grace. Her voice slowly rises over the noise of the bustling room. During those five weeks, we were not taught impressive terminology or how to ace the AP Physics exam.
I think of my journey as best expressed through a Chinese proverb that my teacher taught me, I am like a chicken eating at a mountain of rice. Each grain is another word for me to learn as I strive to satisfy my unquenchable thirst for knowledge. She was suspended for insubordination and when I called her, she said that surely in this situation I might find a way to think of more than my own feelings. I felt ashamed. It didnt even occur to me to seek to understand what was behind her decision in the first place. I apologized, asking how to best support her. She said it was just important that I listen and understand that she could not thrive in an environment that promoted sameness. She spoke to me with a vulnerability I had never heard before. At the end of our conversation, I apologized profusely. She said she did not need my words and what she needed from me was to take a stand. The curious chicken quickly shuffles to Mother Hen, who has just settled on to her throne of hay and is closing her eyes. He is sure that the always composed and compassionate chicken will help him make sense of what hes just seen.